My name is ADionne and I am a "Dream Pusher" who loves helping people discover their purpose in life and hidden potentials. Also I love exploring life and the world, learning and doing new things keeps me excited about the future. Please take a look around and if something inspires or encourages you, please comment and share. Remember you are never too old to pursue your dreams!
They Love Me, They Love Me Not
Love: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
1 Corinthians 13:4 New International Version (NIV) 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud
Many people define love in their own way some make up the rules as they go along according to their benefit. I don’t even think some people know the true meaning of love. Some just say it because they think they’re supposed to or some use it as a form of manipulation to keep a person around.
Love is the giving of self-meaning you give to another person from your heart genuinely with no expectations. And the effects of your love should assure a person that you deeply care for them.
The thing is in order to give love you have to love yourself first! And this is usually the problem behind so many failed relationships or disconnection with parents and their children.
There are so many different levels of love ex:
Love for your God
Love for someone you’re dating if they make you feel good when you are together and it’s a little stronger than like.
Love for your man or woman when you start visualizing them as a part of your future and you make it a point to make them feel like a priority in your life.
Love for your husband or wife you let them know they complete you and make them secure in the knowledge of never wanting to be without them.
Love for your children you basically would do anything for them to assure their happiness and safety.
And love for your parents letting them know you appreciate them for giving your life, you respect them for raising you and you will be there for them in any way until the end of their life!
The love for family and friends is letting them know you have their back when they need you.
Now, let us take a minute and dissect the different forms of love a little deeper. I’ll start by identifying how we love our children. Most people think by giving a child everything they want is love. But in reality, allowing a child to gain everything they want without working for it is not love! In fact that only hinders a child from learning how to deal with being told no. In a way, I believe never telling your child no delays the lesson in the difference between conditional love vs. unconditional love. Children, as well as adults, need to learn how to love rather they get their way or not. When a child never learns the word no from their parents or guardian first they will set them up to believe the whole world owes them nothing but the word yes. It can also teach a child the meaning of manipulation very early on. Simply because they know if they act out, throw tantrums, cry or do whatever it is they do to get their way they will always get their way!
I see so many parents buying their kids’ expensive name brand sneakers and clothes electric devices, etc. when they can barely sustain their bills. Some parents replace quality time with gifts. When all children really want is for you to make the effort to spend some valuable one on one time with them.
Instead, many parents would rather be constant with buying their child the latest video game or keep the cable paid and allow their child to stay locked up in their room to be entertained. I am not by no means saying there is something wrong with your child watching cable or playing video games. I’m saying make sure you balance the schedule and maybe watch a movie or a couple of their favorite shows with them. Have a designated night every week to play board games or video games with them. This way your child will have something to look forward to every week to stay connected and build a closer bond.
I have been dedicating Fridays or Saturday nights for game night and/or movie night with my son from the age of five and he is 15 now. Also throughout the week, we have certain nights we watch our favorite shows together. We eat dinner at the kitchen table together and talk about our day, problems, accomplishments, goals etc. We encourage and motivate each other consistently; we let each other know how proud we are when a goal is achieved. Most important we tell each other I love you every day many times more than once.
Sure my son plays video games and watches cable but by me being steady with our quality time schedule it creates a healthy balance for both of us. And allows him to feel secure in knowing I love him without the expensive gifts.
In this microwave generation, many youths today have a right now attitude. With all the fast technology they were born into it seems to form a mentality of low patients. The media depicts luxurious living and material things as a must have to be of importance. Therefore the peer pressure is at an all-time high and I understand that! Nevertheless, it is our jobs, as parents are to sit down and teach our kids that material thing doesn’t make you the person you are, your character and integrity define whom you are. And you don’t try to fit in the crowd you be the leader of the crowd. I tell my son all the time have confidence that God has made you beautiful and perfect according to his will.
The next time your kid asks for a pair of $200 sneakers sits them down pull out a couple of your bills and show them how much the cost of one pair of sneakers is worth compared to 1-2 bills. Explain the value of budgeting and getting more for your money show them the difference of finding a sneaker that allows them to buy 2-3 pair out of $200. Explain the long-term wear of 2-3 pair of sneakers vs. 1 at the same cost.
In my opinion, this displays love for the fact that you are giving your child wisdom and knowledge to prepare them for the real world.
As parents we want the best for our kids, a good parent will sacrifice many things for their child, career, lifestyle and sometimes their own happiness. In which I don’t believe anyone should ever sacrifice happiness for anyone. There is always a way to compromise and come to a healthy agreement on complicated decisions.
For this example, I will use a dysfunctional marriage: While many believe once you have borne a child you should stay together and raise the child in the same household together. I beg to defer, simply put some people are just not meant to be together. As much as we want the storybook marriage or relationship unfortunately for many reasons people separate after a child is born Sometimes it’s right away and sometimes it’s years later. The important thing is that as parents you continue to be parents no matter what the relationship is between you. Our job is to assure our children that they are deeply loved.
Now let’s talk relationship love between two partners. So many people have a 100/50% love partnership and most of the time the 100% person don’t realize or accept that they are were getting 50% in return until the relationship is over. When you give 100% of yourself, love and time to a person you should feel just as satisfied. But so many don’t comprehend their own value so they settle even though they feel neglected. This goes back to the beginning of this chapter when I mentioned learning how to love you first. Once you do that you won’t let someone else love you less than you love yourself. As I also mentioned before time is the most important thing in life simply because you can get it back. You can get another boyfriend, girlfriend, money, house, car etc. However, all the money in the world can’t buy your time back! So again be careful with whom you let use it up!
ADionne – YOUR DREAM PUSHER